When I had all the time..

I started blogging, I did it because I wanted to archive my thoughts in an eco-friendly way. But now, I just feel eco-friendly is just overrated.

'When I had all the time' refers to all the pockets of time that I have every single day and how I can think of many pursuits to utilise this time for but I just don't wish to. I don't have any reasons why I should utilise/ waste my time in any productive pursuit. I need to do my certifications, I need to read on the subjects that would give me the professional edge, I need to give myself a pedicure :P, I need to read few books et cetera..

Unfortunately, this whole lack of interest in doing these things has not stopped me from overusing internet! I think I have gotten to a point where I abuse my internet time. I browse products that I know the review of, I check out brands I am never gonna buy ( for ex, I would never buy 4g of lipstick for a grand or buy a DSLR for over a lakh, atleast while I am in my current position), I download songs I listen to everyday on the radio, I check the inbox when I am sure I have hardly any mails ( emails are only used at work now).

But it is truly sad that I can't think of any reason to reason with myself. My guard against my sensible self is up and I don't want to listen to my intellectual banter, ironically.

I can sit with my eyes open for hours and not feel alone or anything. Most of the time I play the songs I have been recently listening to or just telling myself 'familiarity breeds contempt'.

And then I realized I have not been posting on my blog, that too after 6 months!! That just adds to the fact that I am so phased out right now. It is time to change however.. I am going to break this monotone on Tuesday. I like Tuesdays.

I sometimes feel I live on the surface ( yeah right!) and other times I am!! I need to dig more. I need to bring back the old nice person who believed in keeping busy and savouring the moment. I would never say that empty pockets of times when we don't wish to do anything. But when it becomes a habit, it feels weird and there is a feeling of nostalgia and restlessness I can't quite identify with.

Of late, I am socializing more and doing more work than I had been until a month ago. But I just find it all boring :P I see no more changes in my otherwise boring life anytime soon. So, I guess I should just get going and go attend my French classes again.

So here I go, to prepare for the assessment. Tataaaa..

The fineline between existence and living

In the industry that I am in, any 2 or more people are always cribbing, whining et al.. This, unfortunately, spills on to you at some subconscious level.

This, I realised, happens not just at work but among friends, family, in buses..Name it, it happens there too. Why is whining, bitching and the likes man's( read human) pet peeve?

Is it that we want to be heard, we want a vent, we want suggestions/advice/solutions, or is it yet another habit we picked up while pretending to live?


What is the difference between living and existence? Why is there so much of a need within man to have La Dolce Vita? All our lives we slave to become better, so that we can live better but do we even have a life?

I am on a path of self-re-discovery, it's weird how you have to walk backwards to get ahead!! But so far, it's been entropic. Almost dizzying at times when I consider the options.

Contrary to my sunsign, I love this new thing that I am trying :)